A Food Vigilante
I remember it like yesterday,
for i was never the same.
Just out for a stroll,
and then it suddenly came.
This bizarre shape in the road,
almost impossible to tell.
All I remember thinking,
is what on earth is that smell?
'Sony Jim, listen up',
as my pa turned to say.
'It's time you now know,
what it is that does lay'.
'That is our food, my boy,
what we stick in the fire.
Making all those meals,
we sure do desire'.
I wanted to cry and scream,
I almost threw up my soul.
To think, from this stench,
is how we got full.
I stared at that pile,
and screamed with great might.
I turned and I ran,
with horrified fright.
For days I kept running,
and never looked back.
Until stumbling upon,
my new mountain shack.
'No! I wouldn't return!'
Surely never could eat.
Left to wither and die,
until death came to greet.
I weakend and thinned,
and soon came to die,
when suddenly some thing,
just fell from the sky.
I went to the window,
as my curiosity grew.
Seeing these round things,
with vibrant color so blue.
Something just called me,
so I went out to meet.
When this strong urge came,
to suddenly eat.
I picked up each one,
from high bushes they fell.
And feeling this surge,
I was finally well.
I ate and I ate,
and eventually grew strong.
Running all over,
in green hills quite long.
I journeyed for food,
and even went for a swim.
Sitting in the sun,
until the day grew dim.
Sheer wonder and awe,
with twinkling stars above.
Thinking about life,
and how much I did love.
I enjoyed life so much,
but would always reflect.
On that day by the road,
and its chilling effect.
Then it suddenly all came,
my new mission in life.
Ending that disgusting mess,
which existed so rife.
I explored and I searched,
and truly stretched my mind.
With so many new foods,
and ideas I would find.
I foraged and cooked,
so amazing I did feel.
Scouring the world,
for the most perfect meal.
The days turned to months,
until many years passed.
Then I truly felt ready,
to return home at last.
I left my cabin,
venturing out from my door.
Having no idea,
what would soon be in store.
I feared their reactions,
so I took to disguise.
Living in the shadows,
hoping none would realize.
I planted small clues,
and the new foods I found.
Learning to be light,
and not make a sound.
They reacted surprised,
so confused and in awe.
When I planted the foods,
and they finally saw.
Some didn't notice,
but others held dear.
Some ran in horror,
when the food came near.
I went on like this,
looking on from a distance.
Thinking, 'how in the world,
could I provide my assistance?'.
It then dawned on me,
their food's great disguise.
Cooked, sauces and spice,
how could they realize?
So i embarked to enlighten,
be honest and clear.
Expecting enthused graciousness,
once they'd finally hear.
'Greetings my people,
such great news I bring.
Surely when you hear,
you'll all want to sing'.
'The foods of today,
and the way we all feast.
It need not be,
on the flesh of some beast.
'Not the blood or the guts,
their milk nor their eggs.
Not even the muscles,
that live in their legs.
'Need not cover your nose,
or turn a blind eye.
For look at these foods,
you now all can try.'
I told them my story,
for hours on end.
Hoping they'd see,
I'm here as a friend.
But then it was peculiar,
all eerily silent.
Not quite thanks or gratitude,
instead they turned violent.
With torches and pitch forks,
they screamed in great rage.
Locking me up,
right here in my cage.
'Blasphemy & lies!
In the name of Moderation!
Put him in shackles,
and lock away in the station!'
The rest is history,
it unfortunately ends there.
I sure never did think
I would cause such a scare
Ok, so not a super hero
a crazed heretic instead.
Now forever unfree,
for all that i've said.
But hey, it's cool.
Just the way it all goes.
At least I tried,
and now somebody knows.
