The Black Box of Going Vegan

2001 A Space Odyssey - designed by Hal Hefner

When I first went vegan…

When I first went vegan, I was probably hungry for the whole first year. I ate some awful tasting things. I struggled with bouts of binge eating. I was absolutely clueless. Nevertheless, I never made much of a fuss. It was my decision, and I was committed to it.

This was 2010. Very much a different world than today. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t all bad. I felt like some weight was lifted, or I had gotten rid of something inside. That was nice. I just felt ‘cleaner’. I also really enjoyed discovering new foods (like mangoes, papaya, avocado… too many to name!), and suddenly aligning my life with my ethics. But my lack of experience, my ignorance and ill preparation (I was working 90+ hours a week), presented lots of challenges.

Now, it seems effortless. I love how I eat. I’ve learned so much over the years. It doesn’t seem a challenge in the slightest. But though I welcomed the experience, it’s not fair for me to say that the transition was easy.

Yes, with the right attitude, the right preparations, the right education, I can see how the change might be instantly gratifying for some, even fun. But unfortunately, that’s not quite the context for most people.

15+ years later, it’s still quite easy to forget the challenges. I might say to others, ‘no it’s easy, buy this, do that etc.’. But the real challenge (apart from education) lies in the newness of things; having no basis nor memories; being vulnerable; and starting from scratch. All the while, your going through the learning process, and constantly making mistakes.


Why vegan?

As a movement, we’ve mastered the ‘why to go vegan’. There are some amazing documentaries out there too, making a splash in the mainstream, influencing everyone from NFL football players to celebrities to everyday people.

We’ve taken the push-back we’ve all gotten from the world, like: protein, nutrient deficiencies, athletics, tasteless food, coolness, religion, ethics, the environment, raising children etc. and we silenced them seamlessly, one by one.

We cast the spotlight on animal agriculture’s dark shadow too, from scientific research to the forces of politics and industry to environmental impact to sheer grossness and of course, the inevitable ethical realities of billions of people consuming animal-based products.

We get celebrity endorsement, from Oscar winners, to models, to musicians and artists. We have world record holders, body builders, NFL players, NBA players, top tennis players. Rugby, running, swimming… name a sport, we’ve got top contenders there sporting the ‘vegan’ label.

You go on the internet, and there’s no shortage of pretty girls, athletic guys and inspiring stories, showcasing veganism too. There’s amazing looking dishes and elaborate recipes. We have clever people poking holes into absurd arguments, putting forth powerful ideas and having a philosophical showdown with ‘the other side’.

We have vegan doctors, vegan scientists, vegan grandparents, vegan children, life-long vegans! We have cute animals rescued from industry. We have raw footage. It goes on and on! Suffice to say, there’s no shortage of inspiration for ‘why’ one should go vegan. But none of it, unfortunately, says a whole lot relevant to actually going vegan.

Nevertheless, after a hit documentary, ‘vegan’ makes a splash. It’s all over the virtual world. Just think of Game Changers! Alas, it doesn’t last. People go vegan, and don’t stay vegan, and it’s clearly not for want of a ‘why’. They had a ‘why’, maybe many ‘whys’ which got them started in the first place. So what happens? Why do so many go back so soon?

Was it that they developed a deficiency within their few week or month trial? Is that even possible? Did they suddenly lose interest in the rainforest destruction, marine decimation or animals crowded in at facilities? Were they suddenly no longer impressed by the Scott Jurek’s and Patrick Baboumian’s and David Haye’s of the world? Did the studies, vegan doctors etc. lose their luster? What in the world happens?!


How to go vegan?

Suffice to say, we beat the ‘why’ to death as a movement. We’re quite good at making a splash, and getting people riled up. But after that, what happens? What happens to all the momentum of, say, a hit documentary?

The show kind of just ends, while the real show really just begins, and nothing they watched, said or showed a whole lot about the journey ahead. It’s almost like they had no idea what they signed up for. The decision to change was to the tune of action-packed drama or an alluring spectacle, and then it ends. They go back to their lives, and this rather slow, quiet, uncertain, practical journey awaits them.

Others (most it seems) see the writing on the wall way in advance, and refuse to watch it, or even have the conversation. Everyone else sort of realizes too late, that ‘vegan’ is almost entirely a black box. We have rumors, biases, stereotypes, false information and sheer ignorance instead. Nobody knows! Even to this day I get asked (when I say I’m vegan), if I ‘still eat eggs or fish though’. This isn’t in the middle of nowhere either, but the suburbs of San Francisco and Seattle.

What is out there is information overload: bits and pieces of knowledge mixed in with ignorance, and how can one tell the difference? When it’s all new to you, it all looks the same, and the more ‘stuff’ there is, the more overwhelming it feels. There’s hardly those 10,000 foot mountain views. What is there, taken together, feels more like looking out a dirty window, right in the middle of Times Square. Hence, those who ‘tried vegan’ and didn’t stay vegan, or the rest who stay miles away.

The ‘why’ is profoundly important. But we fail to appreciate just how much ‘the how’ complements and confirms ‘the why’. How, without a vision, without a familiarity, without an experience, without a knowledge, in short without a sense for ‘how’, the ‘why’ (no matter how cogent or inspiring) is virtually incapacitated.

Most of our efforts, from the heart-wrenching footage, the athletic feats, the environmental destruction, even the amazing looking food pictures, are designed to make a splash. They are ‘larger than’, knee-jerk and momentary. Though necessary and well-intended, they can easily wear off, proving not particularly helpful with the actual experience.

Here is the cycle in a nutshell: ‘Vegan’ makes a splash. People get inspired. Their inspiration fades behind a complete lack of familiarity. ‘Not knowing’ feels like self-sacrifice. They get overwhelmed and give up. What was guilt (we can only live ‘feeling guilty’ so long) morphs into an excuse. Some vegan addresses it. Their guilt morphs into anger, anger to ideology. Vegans fight back. The ideology evolves. It fuels vegans to keep proving, while the vegans fuel them to keep resisting. And so on! All the while, despite all the talking, we never get to the heart of the matter.

We unknowingly create some sort of schism or split in people by virtue of this cycle, that neither side is seemingly aware of it. It becomes rather subconscious. We dangle inspiration in front of them (to change), juxtaposed with this almost heroic sense of self-sacrifice (from having no confidence or idea how to change). As we can see today, it’s a situation bound for intense emotions.

We’re good at making a splash (for those willing to entertain it). But while we argue, prove and inspire without flaw, to get started; virtually ‘everything else’ after is left to an afterthought.


The black box

For a second let’s just consider what that ‘everything else’ is. It is all the fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, legumes, mushrooms and grains out there. It is all the different ways to use them, knowing how to pick them (knowing when they’re ripe), methods of cooking and ways of combining them. It is where to get them, tricks of the trade, brands and where to shop. It is ordering at restaurants, plant-friendly apps, recipe ideas and endless different cuisines. It’s knowing how to read food labels, and deciphering what is or isn’t vegan.

It is calorie intake, size of meals, type of meals, frequency of meals, dietary regimen. It is detoxing and taste buds. It’s withdrawal from cheese or our favorite brands. It is suddenly, what to now eat for breakfast or lunch or for snacks? What foods are ok to combine and which aren’t? What types of nutrients are in certain foods vs. others? What about Vitamin B-12?

It’s the mere experience of these things, the very memories of them, of things, though simple, that impart a feeling of comfort and familiarity. When people attempt going vegan, it’s simply that it is all so new, the information lives in a million different places, and all the while, they’re making mistakes as they go along, and going through all sorts of visceral changes.

People will also contend with spouses, children, family, friends, holidays, birthdays, work events, weekend plans etc. and all of the trying, awkward or inconvenient interactions that might come up. Suffice to say, this can be more challenging than the dietary change itself.

But it doesn’t end there. The change itself blends with things that we contend with vegan or not. Which is only to say, amongst all of this, people are dealing with the stresses of life. All of the many forces that crowd out other concerns, and make us impatient to begin with, let alone to embrace any sort of change.

So many are just walking in the dark, losing patience over the tiniest details, only because the darkness is overwhelming to begin with. The change itself, indeed might be a panacea, and absolute joy. But there’s just so much getting in the way, and so much stems from a virtual blindness.


The modern context

This particular phenomenon (of going vegan), is very much shaped by the modern context. 

Our culture has become simulated. It’s less and less in the slowness of one moment followed by the next and the next, and more and more revolves around what jolts, lures, tempts, distracts and scares us.

Our finest minds are working on technologies to, in essence, automate our lives: labor saving technologies for our labor saving technologies; ways people don’t have to leave the house; AI to communicate even our most trivial thoughts, better than we can!

Suddenly we find ourselves motionless, tied to a simulated sort of experience, of one knee-jerk (though silent) reaction to the next. It’s one where action is imagined and things happen almost instantaneously. There’s a lot to it! In the meantime, it encourages us to cultivate (neurologically and psychologically), this demanding sense of impatience.

People today are ‘in their heads’ like never before. Not quite in the self-reflective, yoga, meditative or even intellectual sense of the word. But something that is, at times, more akin to paralysis. We slowly become all head (or all, ‘part of the head’), and less and less, a synergistic body and a head.

We’ve become no less physical (or ‘transcendent’) in the process, merely that we manage it (or better said, us) all rather mechanically. Our food too has been isolated, ‘perfected’, disguised and heightened to almost drug-like proportions.

It all affects us, and is the context for this vegan movement. It’s not just about animals and food. It is also about what our culture is doing to us and how so many come to meet this impetus to change.

We somewhat play to the phenomenon as a movement, trying to provoke a reaction and cause a virtual raucous. But we contend with this phenomenon of getting ‘vegan’ into the spotlight, alongside the phenomenon of what the virtual raucous is doing to us. At some point, the moment wears off. People have to get out of their heads, slow down and put one foot in front of the other. As such, we might be able to get attention and views and likes, but not necessarily substantive change.


So then what?

We straddle these two worlds today, of virtual and physical. We can use both too, but the change itself will always take place in the physical one.

Whatever we come to do, it’s a balancing act of sorts. It’s striking the balance between provoking a reaction, and helping people slow down. It’s holding their hands, while also encouraging independence. It’s going from body to mind (the motivation), to mind to body (the actual change). It’s providing a vision, while leaving room for the imagination.

Otherwise, it’s simply recognizing the challenges wherever they are. We may not be able to resolve them overnight. There may not be some silver bullet. But seeing them is at least a start.


Overall

It does sound a bit cultish (from the outside looking in) to keep saying ‘our movement’. But you know what I mean!

As a movement, there’s a vast root system when it comes to the matters of the why. It is stable and strong. But all good things can be ‘overdone’. The conversations we have, seem to be calling us to prove, more and more and more. But it seems something else is afoot, for it is largely to no avail.

As a movement, we preach, proclaim, rhapsodize, dramatize, prove and fight for something though indispensable, is still just a mere moment in time. For those still amenable to anything vegan, we’re getting them to sign up for the marathon (or what seems like one), even show up for the race, but we still leave them so painfully ill-prepared.

Some might be carried forward on sheer inspiration, intelligence and attitude. But for so many, the strength of their resolve is tied to what they can or can’t imagine. Outside of the whim of the moment, of the larger than life footage, pictures and personas; they’re left with the basic mechanics of putting one foot in front of the other. It helps when they somewhat know where they’re going.

We conclude some amazing documentaries with nothing more than a few reassuring, though shallow and vague bullet points on getting started. We show people cutting vegetables, or show them out jogging, living the good life, after making ‘this change’. But the question is just as much what in the world that change looks like, as the dramatic confirmation that it was justified and well worth it.

We do our efforts a major injustice by leaving this all to an after-thought; the crux of the challenge, to shallow instruction; the heart of the journey, to stale bullet points. Demystifying the journey itself is just as much (if not more) a reason to get started. The same budgets, creativity and attention we give to ‘proving vegan’, we need to ‘showing vegan’.

I’ve been vegan almost 16 years, and I’m still learning things. Food is the elephant in the room for us earthlings. And especially for us humans, it has a rather profound, psychological, and even spiritual significance. I don’t suspect how I eat now, will be how I will eat 30 years from now, though the foods, more or less, might be the same. It’s a sort of evolution, and there’s depth to it that inspires insight, which warrant conversation. It’s not as shallow as just, ‘Go vegan!’

There’s a lot to this all. Much, much more than the ‘reasons’ one might have. Education on new habits, new foods, new diets, slowly but surely morphs into the subtleties of being a human in the modern world. If I go out to the world of ‘would-be’ vegans and gloss over it; pretend it’s not a process; pretend it is and always will be straight forward, well I can almost guarantee their frustration, dejection and even shame, when they experience otherwise.

In theory, yes, going plant-based is easy as can be. I truly love eating how I do! But that is not the world we live in. It’s not the experience people are having (or have had). When they do get started, no one has the benefit of 15 years experience (even as a fly on the wall of someone else’s). At a minimum, we need to illuminate a world that still continues to be, at best, a cacophony of virtual noise, and at worst, an ominous black box.

We’re not saints on this side, nor are we all so different than the rest, nor is the rest so truly deranged as to not at all be moved by all that’s been unveiled or reasoned out. It is a deeply psychological phenomenon, the likes of which has been playing out throughout human history in different ways. It is unspoken, despite all of the circumlocution on protein, this, that and the other thing. So while the impetus or basis for change is profoundly important, so much of seeing the ‘why’ is more familiarity with all the ‘what’ and the ‘how’.



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